I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
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