I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
