problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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