He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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