At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
