i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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