i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize