This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
