I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
