Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
