i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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