Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
