Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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