I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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