Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Randomize
