just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
