she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize