So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
