She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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