out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize