i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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