she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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