thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
