I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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