Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize