What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize