shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
