Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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