The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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