I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Randomize