Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
