i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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