saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Randomize
