I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
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