Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize