I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize