yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
