are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
