pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
