I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
