Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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