Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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