so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
