You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Liz is crying about burritos again.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
