do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
