I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
