if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
