he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
