I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
