i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
