i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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