You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
