i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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