im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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