btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
