THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
