we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
