So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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